5's Portland Style

Last month I was in Maine (again... I know, I know. Move there already). We decided to mix it up and tried a new restaurant, Yumness Times 555. Let me tell you all Five Fifty-Five... best place I have ever ate.

For the first course we had the Bangs Island Muscles. I need to provide a little history here. About a year ago I tried muscles for the first time (in Maine of course). I've always avoided them because, well they look like an organ, or something else that looks highly unappetizing. I found that they weren't too bad, if the sauce was buttery/garlicky enough and I covered them in salt. The Bangs Island Muscles... TO DIE FOR. Rather than your normal garlic butter sauce the Chef at Five Fifty-Five adds pickled cherry peppers. I can not even begin to explain the pleasure explosion these little darlings caused in my mouth. They were that good. I don't even think I had to cover them in salt. They also were prepared perfectly. No rubbery "I can't chew this" texture.

My client manager had told me before going that they were known for their Grilled Caesar salad. I think my exact words were, "They grill the lettuce? GWOSS". Since I was feeling spunky I decided to try it. Gwoss? No, more appropriately I would call it heaven in my mouth. The lettuce is grilled briefly and wow, the flavor that these few short minutes add is unreal to me. It was all the beautiful taste of grilling in a salad. The dressing was light with just the right amount of garlic.

For the dinner course I decided to again take the advise of others. I tried the Truffled Lobster Mac and Cheese. My hubby is possibly cringing right now. He does not believe that seafood and cheese go together. The dish was delicious but I found it a little on the rich side. I would easily recommend this but likely won't have it again.

For dessert I recommend the 555 Smores. They had me at "Coffee Infused Marshmallows". It was just the right amount of sweet and I could have ate five or six portions and not gone home and cried. I would have floated off in Ecstasy.

We all shared a bottle (okay, okay, three bottles) of 2009 Frogs Leap, Sauvigon Blanc. I have recently (thanks to A.Miller) found a new appreciation for white wines. I use to swear I hated them. Now I tend to order a white over a red.

I had the standards, but I believe the menu changes daily. I can not recommend this place enough. The food and service was the best I have had in Portland and I believe this will be my new go-to place for dinner.

Hurdle

I was doing really good with the not smoking. I mean honestly it SUCKED. The first night I went on a mad dash through the house looking, because I was certain, somewhere was hidden, a cig. I even went so far as to check the hubby's car. I was slightly crazy. Luckily at that moment my quit coached called me. She talked me down from jumping.

Fast forward to Friday. I get into work and realize DOH, I forgot my patch. And I do good. Until 10 am. And then I CAN NOT HANDLE it anymore. So I caved. And pretty much failed this entire weekend.

I hated myself for doing it... but... well yeah.

So started fresh today and surprisingly I haven't had that urge. It's been since about midnight last night and the patch seems to be doing it's intended job.

Work tends to be easier because there are so many tasks that keep me from thinking about it. I am hopeful that some yoga tonight will take my mind off of it.

That and the fantastic grilled Caesar salad I plan on making.

Old Habits... MUST DIE

Today marks Day One. I have been sans a cigarette for about 18 hours. I hate it. Quitting sucks. I will love it after, no doubt. But right now... I want to rip the damn patch off and have a sweet smoke. But I won't. I will do it. This nasty decade old habit will die.

The Very Long and Very Winding Road

We all make mistakes. Right? No one really disagrees with this. Sometimes, sometimes those mistakes are so significant that your life is impacted every single day.

I made one of these mistakes. Eight years ago I made one of the only decisions that I truly regret. That decision changed the entire direction of my life. It changed who I was, and honestly, who I am. I can never get the things, the "me", back that I lost. I will forever be a different person because of one decision.

I've often tried to tell myself that I am better for what I went through. I am stronger. But am I?

If I really was a better person, if I really was stronger.... why do I suddenly feel afraid? Of course it isn't logical. I don't begin to pretend that it is. It is so very illogical I can't even wrap my head around it.

Regardless, it is not going away. It probably never will. I imagine that there will always be this part of me that remembers what I went through. The pain, the anguish, the loss of myself.

But what is more important is how I let the fear change me now. I am trying, so very very hard, not to allow the fear to rule. But it has. If I were to be honest with myself, since I first heard the possibility... well I have been on edge. I can't sleep at night. I am sometimes afraid just to walk outside of my house. When my phone rings I pray that he is not on the other end.

Maybe it will go away. Maybe I will wake up one morning and I will have suddenly forgotten.

But I doubt it.

And maybe that is best. Maybe I shouldn't forget.

I have changed. And I have accepted that regardless of the reason for that change I am a better person. With out the trials I experienced I wouldn't have found this new person. The one that has taken complete charge. The women that doesn't allow anyone to create limitations for her (although she tends to create them for herself). Stronger, maybe. Better, yes.

My Neverending Story

Laundry.

I don't believe I will ever win the epic battle I continually wage against my dirty clothes.

Maybe it is time to give up!

But giving up doesn't fix the problem! I can't wait until  am done with school (again) so I can actually do something other than work, school, occassional social activity, and sleep.

In other news, driving to work today I noticed a foodtruck from San Diego. With a camera next to the driver. FOOD TRUCK NATION! IN SLC! Mega geeked-out. Sadly they are filming this weekend. When I am in Nebraska. Far away from their delicious fare.

Sigh.

Slap my wrist

I have neglected this far too long. Actually I have neglected many things for far too long. Like a social life. I think I almost remember what having one was like. Oh, the joy of coming home from work and then having nothing pressing to do save for laundry or making dinner.

When I made the decision (with the blessing of the Husband) to get a doctorate... I think my thought process was something along the lines of, "Hey, why the hell not. Can't be much harder than the other two". I was wrong. So very very very wrong. It has very much sucked the life out of me. When I come home from work I do one of two things (besides crying, I almost always cry), I study or I zone out. The Husband and I haven't been to a movie since, wow... I think it was Clash of the Titans. My social life (and his by association) consists of bowling once a week and going to my parents for Sunday dinner.

I am not sure I regret the decision, I still am fascinated with different topics. I tried to explain my love of change management to the Husband and I believe his eyes glazed over. In fact, I am sure it was the same expression he gets from me when he starts talking IT. What I regret is not having a firmed up dissertation topic. I think (feel) I am behind.

I have a new academic rep (again, like for the tenth time) and he informed me that he wants me to have (I think he said his goal is for me to have, I took it as an order...) my prospectus done (rough draft) before my next residency. Prospectus? I don't even have a DAMN topic yet. Before I was feeling fine with my lack of a topic, I was still researching different ideas. Now? Now the lack of topic is like the hugest weight possible on my shoulders (well besides guilt from my mother, that will win, hands down, every time).

Sigh, can someone just give me a topic?  I need to quit being so indecisive!

Compromise is a four letter word

Marriage is all about compromise. I understand this and mostly, the husband and I compromise fine. I do the laundry (he helps out with this) and am in charge of dinner. He cleans the horrible cat litter. Very nice trade.

We are currently in the process of painting and decorating the spare bedroom, office, and kitchen. I have these very specific design ideas in my head. I literally have all the color scheme and decor picked out, in my head. My husband has a new nickname, dream-crusher. We have very different design pallets. He has accused me, not in the exact words but the intent was there, of being a gay man. Okay, I will take it! Gay men tend to be very creative when it comes to design.

We have yet to fully agree on anything and instead are compromising all over the damn place. This is great and I know this is how it should work. But can't he just say, "You make all the choices". This would be so much easier for both of us!

(Thanks to the husband and father for hanging the chair-rail. I love it!)

PPT This

I love to hate Power Point. It is such a fantastic tool but I seem to find myself spending hours, days, months creating new presentations. I am on overload. If I have to create one more presentation, insert one more diagram... I will snap.

Ten years later

No, this is not a blog dedicated to reminiscing the last decade, well at least not in the way that many may think. It only is a small portion of the last decade that I wish to evaluate.

Honestly, it has been longer than ten years that I have listened to X96. It has been a morning ritual for 10 years. My first year of college the Mexican and I would listen to Radio from Hell each morning as we dealt with traffic. We won contests a few times, most memorably RHCP tickets, which prompted my sister to by a ticket to attend with us, then someone lost our tickets. Wait... I just got off subject.

I have continued to listen to them even though the show has become more angry then funny. Gone are the bits of yesteryear and replaced with political/social rants. Normally I just ignore the arguments because I see some legitimacy. Today... that ends.

This morning one of the daily boners was Rand Paul. Normally, I wouldn't mind. Today... well today I actually agreed.

"The poor in our country are enormously better off than the rest of the world... Doesn't mean we can't do better..."

I end there because I am not turning this into a debate about capitalism vs socialism which is what the second portion of his comment will lead to.

Okay.. so he was nominated as a boner because he essentially said that our poor don't have it so bad. Well guess what, in the grand scheme of things they don't. People in third world countries would LOVE to be American poor. And yes this does not mean we should rest on our laurels. But I am going to take this a step further.

Some of our poor (and this is a generalization, which I admit to, I also KNOW that this doesn't include all poor) are just plain lazy. Yes, the bleeding liberal that everyone thinks I am just said this. Let me explain. I know of one person who is a single mother of three. Her kids don't live with her, they live with her mother because she just is a plain old bad example. She still gets state assistance as if her children did live with her, still gets food stamps, low-cost housing, medicare, etc etc etc. She has not had a job for five years. Why? Well if she gets a job she has to work and doesn't get the free aid. What did she do with her tax returns this year? Did she put them aside to help by clothes for her children? Help supplement some of the costs the government has covered? Nope. She blew it, on a new TV and gaming system for her kids.

I know another single mother who lives with a man, they refuse to get married because she will no longer receive assistance. So she doesn't work, claims all the benefits, and he makes 50K a year.

I know another family that barely can make ends meet every month. When they do have money they blow it on the unimportant things and then can't buy food.

Being poor sucks, and yes, I understand that there are some people that don't ask for this. I also know a single mother of three, she left an abusive husband, hadn't had a job in the ten years they were married. She went out, found a job paying her $10 and hour. She received food stamps she also bought her own home, on her own, with out state aid. Then she received a raise... something like 20 cents more an hour. She lost her food stamps. What does she do? She continues to work hard, trying to make a life for her and her kids.

So guess what... yes being poor is horrible, but it could be worse. You could have to work for $3 a day in a sweatshop in Asia. You could not be able to feed your whole family so you starve to death and leave your children motherless. Yes, being poor sucks in American, but guess what, it is worse elsewhere.

So X96... I am trying to decide if I can continue to listen. I was so sickened by Bills outrage over a statement that is true. What does he want? Redistribution of wealth? Should I, someone with an advance degree, support someone who doesn't have the same skills?

Breaking Bread

Another simple history lesson....

I am from a middle-class (mostly) Midwestern family. I grew up in a religious household. We weren't fanatical... but religious. I attend church most Sunday's, participated in youth groups, went through the Lutheran Conformation process, and volunteered to teach summer bible school to preschool children. I enjoyed church and learning about the bible..

Until I moved to Utah. Once here I began to distrust organized religion. I didn't lose belief I just evolved in my views. I quit going to church and no longer felt the "flame" burning inside me.

That does not mean I don't believe in God. It doesn't mean that I view all Christianity as a pimple on humans. I just don't care for some of the teaching of organized religion. When I read the bible I interrupt it differently than those that stand at a pulpit.

One thing that I try, very hard, to do is to NOT make others feel stupid for the religious views. I may not agree, but that doesn't mean that I will call you stupid or doubt your intelligence. I except the same of others, and more often than not, I am disappointed. For years it has been an internal battle, religions picking on other religions. In the recent years it has turned more to a battle of the believers vs the non-believers.

This is ridiculous.

What is truly ridiculous is those who claim that christian followers have persecuted them... and then they turn around a religion bash. You can get no where in your cause if you sink to the same levels of others. You want to have an honest and rational debate, sure... perfect. What is not acceptable, no matter what side, is resorting to disrespectful rants or jokes at others whom have different beliefs. If it isn't right for them it isn't right for you.

Happily Ever After

The date has been set! The fiance is going to make an honest woman out of me. We have invited our family and friends to celebrate with us in Vegas. We've both been there done that and so the idea of a big wedding wasn't something either of us were too keen on. Although I did have a few moments where I thought I might like the big dress again... but I changed my mind, swiftly, when helping my sister plan hers.

The same day I made the reservations for the chapel in Vegas the BFF announced that his GF had said yes. I am so very happy for the both of them. I hope he knows how lucky he is. I adore the BFF, don't get me wrong, but he really lucked out... cause, well he is him. Kidding aside, I am happy for them.

I had some time to think today and I realized that it was four years ago when the BFF entered my life. At the time we were both struggling with the ending of relationships. The cosmos aligned and I, completely by chance and intuition, was introduced to a person whom has strongly impacted my life. We had a conversation sometime between the meeting and a few years ago where we discussed how we were sure that we would never marry again. The bridges that had burned between marriage and us had been very bright. To put it simply, we had lost faith.

I have many stories of our times together, avoiding institutions like marriage. Enough stories that I still contemplate writing a book about our journey, among other things. I truly believe that if it wasn't for him I never would have opened myself up enough to meet the fiance. The BFF gifted me with something I will cherish for the rest of my life, the gift of faith. It is through our meeting, development of our friendship, and these years that I have learned that it isn't marriage that I should be leery of, but people who bring negativity in my life.

I don't really believe in fate, I have a hard time giving up control to anyone, especially a fictitious character that holds my future in her hands. So I won't call it fate, our meeting, but I guess it was divine intervention. I couldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't had him in my life.

So cheers to you, BFF. I am very happy for you two. I knew from the moment I met her that she was special and that this day would soon come, just as you knew, from the moment you met the fiance, that my life would never be the same. So I tip my cup to fate, or whatever we want to call it, for giving us the opportunities that we have today.

Oh, and just cause I am a girl doesn't mean I can't attend a bachelor party. ;)

Introducing Mr and Mrs

As some may know, I am getting married in a few months. It took awhile for both of us to take this step even though I can say, with certainty, that we are perfectly matched. As we have both been down this road before, you can imagine the trepidation with making this type of commitment. But we are doing it, only for ourselves, not because everyone else wants it.

One of the first conversations we had regarded name changing. I made the decision after my last marriage that I would not do that again. Wrong or right, I believe my identity is somewhat tied to my last name. Plus, the last name rocks. We discussed it and he is okay with that, he understands that I have built recognition with my name, professionally speaking.

I had a conversation with someone this last week about getting married and she asked what my new last name would be. I informed her that I wasn't changing my name. "You are lucky you found someone that will let you keep your name". Let me? Wow. I was unaware that anyone let me do anything. I was under the distinct impression that I am in charge of my life. That isn't to say that I don't value the opinion of those close to me or the support of them. But no one lets me do anything. I was in a marriage was I was allowed to do things and not allowed to do many more. That is a road I will never again travel.

One of the best qualities of the fiance is the fact that he allows me to be me. He understands that I am stubborn, aggressive, and in control of my life. He respects my individuality and doesn't want that to change. He doesn't worry about what he will and will not let me do.

Piece of advice for everyone out there. If you are with someone that lets you do things, you aren't in the right relationship. A relationship isn't about asking permission or waiting for someone to grant you rights. I have never and will never ask for permission to be me.

Shame on you

We all have been in a place where we have made a bad descision. It is part of human nature, to make mistakes. I feel that everyone deserves a second chance.

But....

There comes a point in time where someone makes a decision so hurtful and with such purpose that it becomes impossible to forgive and you are only left to forget.

But sometimes...

You can't forget. Sometimes they hurtful nature is too much to forgive or forget. And then you are left with finding options to deal.

And that is fine, I can deal with the best of them.

Epistemology

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. I have an advance degree and I tend to be a very logical, if not overly, thinker.

In college I struggled with mathematical courses (account, statistics, finance, etc). In my MBA program I didn't have to deal with those courses and found that I excelled. Give me a chance to answer a question with an essay response or give me a 3000 word paper over multiple choice and I will love you forever.

So why is it that for the first time in YEARS I am finding myself questioning my ability to grasp new concepts?

When I stated that I am intelligent I should have also mentioned that I am not the intelligent person that reads something once and remembers all valid points. Instead I have to read and highlight a document, then reread and take notes to fully grasp the concepts. I think recognizing my need to take some extra time adds to my assessment of intelligence.

I am currently taking a class in my doctorate program, Knowledge of Theory and Practice. Sounds simple enough right? What I didn't know was that this class was a disguise for philosophy, possibly the stupidest subject known to man.

In my undergraduate studies at the U I had two take two philosophy based courses. I did this by taking a class on social ethics and world religions. I had NO desire to contemplate if the table was there or if it was not there. How that at all helps our society or expands on knowledge is beyond me.

I believe that those who study philosophy at this general level are really just unable to commit to a god damn thing. I normally avoid knocking any type of study, but I will knock the HELL out of the study of general philosophy. It provides NOTHING to ANYONE.

I want to tear out every last gray hair on my head. And I imagine, as this class continues, that I will grow more gray hairs to pull out. I understand the importance of knowledge and applying theories into practice. This is  fundamental process in the doctoral journey. I do not understand how debating the philosophy of knowledge is fundamental to anything. This is the biggest waste of my time and money, and I plan on letting the University know this.

We're not there... Yet

Earlier this month I spent a week of my life, a very long week that I will never get back, participating in the residency program for my doctorate. It was hell. And when I say hell I mean HELL. I spent five days getting up at 6am, far earlier then my normal routine. Spending over 8 hours in class discussing theory and practice and how critical thinking, reading, and writing impact our lives and learning experiences. If that wasn't enough I usually spent the next five to seven hours in my hotel room reading and writing papers. Then I slept, if I was lucky it was for a full six hours before the entire routine started over again.

It was a great experience, I can say that now that I am almost two weeks past it and back home. I finally think I have some good ideas for my dissertation, which I will refrain from boring you with. I made some great personal and professional contacts and was introduced to this online phenomenon called linked in.

I hadn't given much more thought to my stay there until this last week. The residency was in Phoenix. It was my first time visiting the city, and while it was pretty (in that way that I imagine the gateway to hell is pretty), it wasn't my cup of tea.

This week Arizona decided to pass a new law. The law makers will tell you that their intentions are to fix the valid immigration issues that their state faces. They are now allowed to demand proof of legal resident from anyone. Yes even YOU would have to show proof.

I am disgusted. I am outraged. I am really sickened by this legal racism. I will also tell you I UNDERSTAND, there is a problem with our immigration policy. I do believe that not acting has lead us to this point. I know that illegal residents are a drain on our already thin tax dollars. Believe me, I understand there is a problem and I know that we need a radical solution.

This isn't it.

I can't believe some of my more sane friends are behind this law. They say it isn't racism, that people are over-reacting. They say you shouldn't worry about providing papers if you aren't doing anything illegal. Sigh, my friends. Ask my sister about my stance on allowing things to happen with out a fight. She tell you I have a very hard stance, I don't give an inch in fear that they WILL take a mile. I am not an anarchist, just a realist.

Our country was created to provide us certain unalienable RIGHTS. That we are all created EQUAL. This Constitution was drafted by some that would these days be considered ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

My ancestors on my fathers side came here legally as did many of those that are four or five (some even two) generation American. The difference? Immigration policies were much lighter then. We were the land of the free in the brave. This was the place that people came to escape poverty and oppression. In 1965 our country passed the Hart Celler Act to remove quotes.

I will take a moment to step off my soap box and tell you a story about my time in Arizona. I stayed in a hotel and each day saw one to two different employees. Every day I took two cabs, never having the same driver. Through out the day at the University I encountered a number of employees. Every evening I would walk to a different hotel and enjoying dinner. I even walked to the gas station on a couple of occasions.

In that entire six days I was there. I never once encountered anyone that didn't speak English. The only time I really encountered someone of Hispanic descent was once with a cab driver and the custodial service at the University. The custodian was very friendly and we had more than a few conversations.

I will not pretend to know the percentage of Hispanics in Arizona but I was surprised, in hindsight, that I didn't experience what some have called a change in the population. So each day I was around approximately 10 employees of various companies and never found myself to be in the presences of someone that could be considered as an illegal immigrant. How is that possible?

The companies make that possible. These companies (Extended Stay Hotels, Quick Trip, Discount Cab of Phoenix, Sheraton Hotel, and University of Phoenix) are the SOLUTION. The PROBLEM isn't the immigrants it is the companies who continue to employee undocumented workers. Why aren't the republicans crying wolf on this???? Because they support big business and those many companies that line their pockets would cry foul if they were to stand up and speak out.

People are escaping here for a better life. Companies across this country are giving them the incentive to do it illegally. Instead of ripping families apart and endorsing state sanctioned racism, lets start fining and arresting those who every day take advantage and rob legal citizens of all races and nationalities.

Chicken Santa What?

So my current mission, which I accepted but have yet to commit to, fully, is to bring my lunch every day and dinner every night. (Ah, the pleasures of working two jobs).

I decided, with the help of a nice sale at the local grocery store, to purchase a number of Smart Ones meals from Weight Watchers. This was for two reasons, I remember, a long time ago when I had accepted this mission (and failed) that they weren't half bad and really aren't loaded with calories.

Yesterday I enjoyed two very nice meals; Teriyaki Chicken and Veggies for lunch and Lasagna Bake with Meat Sauce. I was very pleased with both meals. My lunch was just the right portion size to be complimented with fresh fruit (god I love fresh pineapple) and the sauce was great. The chicken didn't have that frozen-meal taste or texture. The lasagna wasn't dry and the sauce was nice, if not a little too sweet for my tastes, but all-in-all a great meal (with a nice pear on the side).

Today I grabbed the Chicken Santa Fe and Home-style Pot Roast, both part of the Bistro collection. I wonder if my definition of bistro is wrong. Maybe in Weight Watchers lingo Bistro is more similar to vomit?

I'm fairly certain I have throw shit up that looks more appetizing then that. I ended up eating only the chicken as I was unaware that it was possible for black beans to become drier.

Le Sigh, it is safe to say that I am not too interested in my dinner meal. Tragic.

And where the hell did the spell-checker my blog go? Are the blog gods not aware that I am possibly the world's WORST   least competent speller?

Schools Out

I must preface this blog by stating that I am the daughter of an educator, so I will also state that some opinions expressed are likely to be slightly influenced by this.

Utah, like many states, is seeing a budget short-fall and one of the areas that is taking a hit is public education. I can not think of an area that can not lose money more. Education is the foundation of life. With out adequate education we are sitting up the children of our future to fail. Look at my generation and compare them to the current high-schoolers, I imagine you will see a significant difference in the importance place on education.

Sadly, I feel too many parents over-look the importance of education. They see it as free baby-sitting. I am astounded by how many of my friends can't wait for their child to hit 5 so they don't have to worry about day care. And full day kindergarten? WTF, how is a five year old at all expected to sit through 8 hours of class? Give me a break. If you have a child you have MADE THAT DECISION. With that comes sacrifices, one of those being time/money to watch that child until they are of age to be left alone.

And on that note, how dare people have more kids than they can afford to educate. It is ridiculous how many parents receive more money from the state of Utah than they paid in taxes because of the number of children they have popped out. These parents are free-loaders and are just as much a harm to society as those who abuse other state assistance (welfare, etc). But as they are saving those souls floating around in heaven, I guess it is forgive.

Wake up parents. School is not free, and it isn't solely the responsibility of underpaid and undervalued teachers to educate you children. The buck doesn't stop there; it extends to when they are home. Quit sitting your children in front of the TV for hours of mindless shit. Take some time to read to them, create structure and SUPPORT education.

Robbing our children by reducing the amount of money we supply our education system will continue to deplete this country of informed and educated adult, something we are already sorely lacking.

How about we have a lottery, let those of us heathens who enjoy a scratch ticket or two help support education?

How about we quit allowing students to waste a period a day to leave school for religious reasons?

Why dump so much money into sports, what are they bringing to the table? I'd rather cut sports any day than art programs (yeah, that is the liberal side of me talking).

There is an answer here and I pray it doesn't become cutting what is already a very empty pocket.

Buttars Brother

I think Chris Buttars has a brother from a different mother.

Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) said Guam might capsize. He says he was speaking figuratively. I am not sure it matters. Take a moment before you ask a question and think, "how will this sound when it is replayed over and over and over".

Of course Buttars says stupid and hateful things. Johnson just said something stupid.

Remind me, why do people want to procreate?

I hate bullying. Detest it. I grew up in a small town and was not one of the popular girls. I was friends with all the guys, a tom-boy, and very tall and very skinny. I was bullied all of the time. I survived. In fact, I think I should thank Tanya for helping to build the strong and independent woman that I am today.

Kids will be kids. Right?

I HATE that excuse.

Yes I was bullied, incessantly. The difference between when I was younger and now. There wasn’t the internet. Bullying took place at school and then it was done. It didn’t follow me home. Sure, Tanya could tell everyone lies about me, but she had to spread them, person to person. Now all the modern-day Tanya has to do is update her facebook status and *boom* within a few minutes the entire student body could know the lie.

So I hate bullies, pretty obvious.

Know what I hate more? Parents of bullies. Administrators and teachers at schools were bullying takes place. Ignoring a situation for whatever reason WILL NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Take young Phoebe Prince, a beautiful soul who took her life to end the daily torture. My heart goes out to her family and I hope that the DA continues to push hard and throw the book at the bullies. Felony charges are completely justified and shame on those who think differently. While they are at, and I RARELY support this, sue the school.

Of course the administrators are know claiming that they didn’t know it was this bad. That no one had complained. And maybe, as an immigrant family, this is partially true.

I am not sure yet if I will chose to be a parent. Stories like this make me wonder if it is worth it. The pain and anguish of growing up was hard enough experienced first hand. I can only imagine how much worse it is seeing a child go through it.

For All

I have fully avoided talking about health care. I acknowledge this. Normally I am the first to jump on the political bandwagon and voice my ever-so-present opinion. This time I have refrained. I guess now that a bill has passed it is time to speak up.

I believe that health care is a right, not a privilege. I believe that we all should have equal access to doctors, medicine, hospitals, etc. I believe that it should be affordable. I believe that the current health care system is a big fat in-you-face failure.

I don’t know if I support this current bill.

It is hard, to be for health care reform and disagree with this bill. I strongly believe that there is reform needed but I just don’t think this bill is the answer.

Pre-existing conditions are unfair. Take this example. A man and his wife decide to have a baby. They have health care through his employer. He is let go due to the struggling economy. She works from home so doesn’t have access to work-sponsored heath care. She is three months pregnant and now has no health care. He can pay for Cobra (usually over $800 a month). But as they have just lost their main income, this is going to be tough. They can not find private health care because her pregnancy is a pre-existing condition. How is that fair?

The cost of private health care is astronomical. Take another example. My friend is married and her husband is self-employed. She stays home with their two daughters. They decide to have another child. Understanding that they do not have insurance she signs-up for a program with her doctor that allows her to pay (in advance installments) for the cost of visits and delivery. There are major complications. Her son is born with a hole in his colon. He has to spend the first month of his life in the hospital. Their total bill when all is said and done, over $200K. Is it fair that medical bills bankrupt a family?

We need reform, understandably and unequivocally. But this current bill mandates that every person has insurance, everyone has to purchase it. Pre-existing conditions are now gone… but can anyone say whether the astronomical costs are? My biggest problem with this bill? The government lay in bed with the insurance companies. Those devils that deny claim after claim to make a profit. Also, some states (even my home state of Nebraska) have special privileges while others do not.

I don’t know the answer, and will not claim to. But I do know when something stinks and this bill does. You can’t pass a bill just to pass one and then hope to later clean it up.