This morning marks the second morning in a row where I almost rear-ended someone on 215. Sigh. I am normally not the type of driver that has these issues... but for some reason the last two mornings traffic has been worse than normal and I can't get the fuck out of the right lane. Every time I try to navigate my way out I end up slamming on my breaks as to not car fuck the person in front of me.
Maybe I should start leaving for work on time rather than 15 minutes later than I normally do.
Maybe I should go to bed at a decent hour so that I am not dragging ass in the morning.
Off to visit my favorite stylist and let her work wonders with my dull hair.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I'm pregnant, pass the broccoli
I called my mother yesterday to share some exciting news with her.
"Hey Mom, guess what"
"You're pregnant"
"Um, no"
So she snickered, meaning that she knew she did something funny and wanted acknowledgement of that fact. Ha. Tables are turning.
"I can't get pregnant mom"
"What do you mean"
"I don't have sex"
"Yes you do"
"No mom, I don't"
"Um, well. Really?"
Ha. Got her. Seriously, why does my mom worry about me not having sex? Shouldn't she be a typical mother and worry about me actually having it. Such is the world of my mother.
"So you're not pregnant"
"Mom, no"
"Okay, I guess I will die with no grandchildren"
"Overdramatic much"
"I'm getting old"
"Mother, you are 58, not 80, there is plenty of time for baby making"
This conversation,. or one similiar to it, occurs frequently. My mom wants little bambinos, and she doesn't care if the are unwanted and/or illegitimate.
The BFF is so right... Thanksgiving, we will see how they like it.
"Hey Mom, guess what"
"You're pregnant"
"Um, no"
So she snickered, meaning that she knew she did something funny and wanted acknowledgement of that fact. Ha. Tables are turning.
"I can't get pregnant mom"
"What do you mean"
"I don't have sex"
"Yes you do"
"No mom, I don't"
"Um, well. Really?"
Ha. Got her. Seriously, why does my mom worry about me not having sex? Shouldn't she be a typical mother and worry about me actually having it. Such is the world of my mother.
"So you're not pregnant"
"Mom, no"
"Okay, I guess I will die with no grandchildren"
"Overdramatic much"
"I'm getting old"
"Mother, you are 58, not 80, there is plenty of time for baby making"
This conversation,. or one similiar to it, occurs frequently. My mom wants little bambinos, and she doesn't care if the are unwanted and/or illegitimate.
The BFF is so right... Thanksgiving, we will see how they like it.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Quote this
Maybe more people will read this if... actually I have no idea what to do to gain readership. Occasionally I get depressed when my failing celebrity status is shoved in my face. Yes, I was, for a short while, a celebrity in the baby blog world (myspace). Any of you who remember that time may very well remember the breast feeding blog... where I got my teat... er... feet wet.
Alas, I have no popularity here. None.What.So.Ever.
That's okay. I will continue to write for myself, because, and you can quote me, I am the funniest bitch I know.
Onto something more interesting. I purchased and XBOX 360, and was quickly reminded as to why I had not done so earlier. 1. Way to confusing for a simple gal like me.
2. Gates wants to rape me by charging for extras that aren't really extras but necessities. 3. It is a blackhole for time, it sucks it and sucks it and never gives it back.
Old Lace and Arsenic and the Foxy Moxyzz... yeah those are two of the pseudo-bands that have been created. I have learned that the drums can be fun. And that Halls sucks at literally every single thing, but that really isn't new news. Oh Snap.
Alas, I have no popularity here. None.What.So.Ever.
That's okay. I will continue to write for myself, because, and you can quote me, I am the funniest bitch I know.
Onto something more interesting. I purchased and XBOX 360, and was quickly reminded as to why I had not done so earlier. 1. Way to confusing for a simple gal like me.
2. Gates wants to rape me by charging for extras that aren't really extras but necessities. 3. It is a blackhole for time, it sucks it and sucks it and never gives it back.
Old Lace and Arsenic and the Foxy Moxyzz... yeah those are two of the pseudo-bands that have been created. I have learned that the drums can be fun. And that Halls sucks at literally every single thing, but that really isn't new news. Oh Snap.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends
I heard something interesting today on NPR. In all actuality I hear many interesting things on NPR, which is why I renewed my membership, again. Shame to those that didn't. ;)
The guest on the show was Ted Koppel, who has just done a piece for the Discovery channel on a lynching that took place... not in the 50's or even 60's...but in 1981. To be fair, the show is more about how racism and lynching specifically have affected people.
I will tune in for the show because it intrigues me. But what I really found interesting is the idea that if Obama is elected there are a number of people that think that is a sign that racism is ceasing in America.
Um. Hello. What America do you live in? Racism is all around us. I see it everyday. Here in the state of Zion... there is a perverse racism against Hispanics. Because, of course, all Hispanics are illegals. Silly me.
All across this country there is racism against those of the Islamic fate. Because, of course, they all are going to commit a jihad.
It is utterly disillusioning yourself to believe that Obama being elected (if) has anything to do with us moving past racism in this country. I can only wish, hope and dream for that day. But I fear I won't see it in my life time.
Actually I fear we will never see it. I think racism will always be abundant. Racism is for the weak. And the weak are always looking for ways to make themselves feel superior. But for racism to completely dissipate... I just don't see that possibility.
But... that doesn't mean that we give up, or that we stand still. Just because I (or you) fear that racism will always exist doesn't mean we turn a blind eye. If anything it means we should fight harder.
I leave you with these words
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy" -MLK
The guest on the show was Ted Koppel, who has just done a piece for the Discovery channel on a lynching that took place... not in the 50's or even 60's...but in 1981. To be fair, the show is more about how racism and lynching specifically have affected people.
I will tune in for the show because it intrigues me. But what I really found interesting is the idea that if Obama is elected there are a number of people that think that is a sign that racism is ceasing in America.
Um. Hello. What America do you live in? Racism is all around us. I see it everyday. Here in the state of Zion... there is a perverse racism against Hispanics. Because, of course, all Hispanics are illegals. Silly me.
All across this country there is racism against those of the Islamic fate. Because, of course, they all are going to commit a jihad.
It is utterly disillusioning yourself to believe that Obama being elected (if) has anything to do with us moving past racism in this country. I can only wish, hope and dream for that day. But I fear I won't see it in my life time.
Actually I fear we will never see it. I think racism will always be abundant. Racism is for the weak. And the weak are always looking for ways to make themselves feel superior. But for racism to completely dissipate... I just don't see that possibility.
But... that doesn't mean that we give up, or that we stand still. Just because I (or you) fear that racism will always exist doesn't mean we turn a blind eye. If anything it means we should fight harder.
I leave you with these words
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy" -MLK
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Thank you, with love
For the most part I am a pretty liberal person. I do have limits to my liberal nature. I am not for a socialistic society. I am not a red-loving communist. I don't hate religion. I don't think that there should be a carte blanche pass on abortion. I don't think that those who have worked very hard for what they have should be taxed at a higher rate, for any reason.
So maybe, after all of that, I am not a liberal person as much as I am a middle of the road person. I am not going to talk about socialism today, because that will take far longer than I wanted to dedicate.
Bill Maher. Hate him. Always have. Thanks Mr. Maher, for becoming more of an idiot than Michael Moore.
The hypocrisy that surrounds him is unbelievable to me. He doesn't like religion. Fine. I don't really find myself very found of the organization myself. I also don't like ketchup, Mondays, stinky socks and loud farts. I don't jump on any possible reason to demean the people that do like those things. Sure, a joke here and there, but to make a entire movie poking fun at people that believe in something.
Wow. Maybe he didn't get enough hugs as a child.
Okay. Yes, there are many thing that have been done in the name of religion, some really poor choices. But there have also been many good things. I would also say that there have been just as many things done, poorly, in the name of a nation or love. So why pick on religion?
This is my problem with atheists. They can't just leave shit alone. Since they believe that there is nothing, no god, no higher power... they have to shit on anyone that does. Well guess what? You may be right, but you don't know it. Big Bang Theory. It is a theory, which means, it isn't proven. Isn't that the favorite argument? That there is no proof of god? Hmmm.
So Mr Maher, and other atheists out there. Believe what you want, please, I beg you to have that. But do not demean me or other people because their beliefs aren't the same. You have just put yourself in the same bucket as those you are against.
So maybe, after all of that, I am not a liberal person as much as I am a middle of the road person. I am not going to talk about socialism today, because that will take far longer than I wanted to dedicate.
Bill Maher. Hate him. Always have. Thanks Mr. Maher, for becoming more of an idiot than Michael Moore.
The hypocrisy that surrounds him is unbelievable to me. He doesn't like religion. Fine. I don't really find myself very found of the organization myself. I also don't like ketchup, Mondays, stinky socks and loud farts. I don't jump on any possible reason to demean the people that do like those things. Sure, a joke here and there, but to make a entire movie poking fun at people that believe in something.
Wow. Maybe he didn't get enough hugs as a child.
Okay. Yes, there are many thing that have been done in the name of religion, some really poor choices. But there have also been many good things. I would also say that there have been just as many things done, poorly, in the name of a nation or love. So why pick on religion?
This is my problem with atheists. They can't just leave shit alone. Since they believe that there is nothing, no god, no higher power... they have to shit on anyone that does. Well guess what? You may be right, but you don't know it. Big Bang Theory. It is a theory, which means, it isn't proven. Isn't that the favorite argument? That there is no proof of god? Hmmm.
So Mr Maher, and other atheists out there. Believe what you want, please, I beg you to have that. But do not demean me or other people because their beliefs aren't the same. You have just put yourself in the same bucket as those you are against.
Friday, October 3, 2008
I will be rich
I am an adult. Certifiably. There is no contesting it. In fact, I have been an adult for ten years, at least by the law.
So someone explain to me why in the hell I still can't manage to take all my vitamins with out gagging?
Actually scratch that. This isn't my fault. It isn't natural to swollow something that large. (Peanut gallery, please refrain from making any comments in regards to my ability (or in this case dis) to swollow). Instead it is the fault of those who make the damn pills.
Seriously. Is it necessary that they are so large? I mean lets take the BC, a pill that prevents me from carrying a life for nine months, it is tiny. Sometimes I even wonder if I actually swollowed it. So why do our vitamins have to be so large.
Are the companies trying to make us feel better. Maybe they are thinking that we, the simple humans we are, will look at the pill and think "hey, this is huge, it must contain lost of vitamins and be very good for me". Pffft. Can anyone say conspiracy?
Who knows what they are thinking. Also, why do they have to be so chalky. H-E-L-L-O, let me introduce you to the gel cap, it is wonderful. Hmmm... actually forget you read this. Just look for small gel-cap vitamins in the near future. And buy them. You love me and will make me rich.
So someone explain to me why in the hell I still can't manage to take all my vitamins with out gagging?
Actually scratch that. This isn't my fault. It isn't natural to swollow something that large. (Peanut gallery, please refrain from making any comments in regards to my ability (or in this case dis) to swollow). Instead it is the fault of those who make the damn pills.
Seriously. Is it necessary that they are so large? I mean lets take the BC, a pill that prevents me from carrying a life for nine months, it is tiny. Sometimes I even wonder if I actually swollowed it. So why do our vitamins have to be so large.
Are the companies trying to make us feel better. Maybe they are thinking that we, the simple humans we are, will look at the pill and think "hey, this is huge, it must contain lost of vitamins and be very good for me". Pffft. Can anyone say conspiracy?
Who knows what they are thinking. Also, why do they have to be so chalky. H-E-L-L-O, let me introduce you to the gel cap, it is wonderful. Hmmm... actually forget you read this. Just look for small gel-cap vitamins in the near future. And buy them. You love me and will make me rich.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Rotting Oyster
Before I go into the actual blog... I must say this. WHAT IS WRONG WITH DRIVERS? I had to drive to Idaho for work today, which means I spent close to 7 hours just driving. But since I was in my nifty new car that has satellite radio... it wasn't too bad. What I wanted to do was throw something at the cars that were riding the left lane. Okay people... little lesson in driving etiquette. You DO NOT ride in the left lane. You PASS in the left lane. When you ride in that lane you fuck up my cruise control. And as cruise and I had a long separation I didn't appreciate the multiple interruptions.
So on to the big stuff.
Shelly sent me an email yesterday. Apparently we didn't miss our 10 year reunion. Someone called her parents house trying to get ahold of her. Um... hello? Where the fuck was my call? I was much more popular. ;) Kidding. But I am pissed no one called me.
10 fucking years. So where was I ten years ago? Well the world was my oyster. I was given a choice by my parents. I chose to stay in Utah and go to school. I was madly in love with a person I assumed was the "happily ever after". I had just started a new job. I was getting ready to attend a great college. I was living with my parents and had just got a new car. I wasn't talking to my best friend, we had a falling out over a guy. But I was happy. And I was skinny.
So where am I now?
Well I am older, much older. People call me ma'am. I don't always get an id check when I purchase beer. I have gray hair... lots and lots of gray hair. I am living with my sister. I just bought me a brand spanking new car that I love. I have a job that I love. I am with "happily ever after". I am just a few classes shy of my MBA. And I am barely talking to my previously mentioned best friend. I have the most fantastic friend ever. I am happy. Just not so skinny.
So the title is rotting oyster. Because... well... my oyster stunk. What transpired in these ten years to get me where I am now was hard. Failed relationship after failed relationship. I went through a horrible marriage. Shelly and I had another falling out, again, sort of over a guy. This time it was close to unrepairable. I worked for years in a job I loved but was underpaid and under appreciated. I lost who I am.
I am not, not even for a mili-second, complaining. Everything I went through made me who I am today. If it weren't for the failed relationships I wouldn't know what I want and deserve and I wouldn't be able to see that in the BF. If Shelly and I hadn't have parted ways I never would have met the BFF. I am living with my sister, and at times that is trying, but mostly I love it. I am finally in a job that I love and excel out (okay... I excelled at the other too). And Shelly and I are slowly building a friendship. It is different and it is refreshing.
I guess the moral of this story is that the world may be an oyster... but you don't have to settle for the first one you get. If it starts to smell funky, throw it away and get a new one.
So on to the big stuff.
Shelly sent me an email yesterday. Apparently we didn't miss our 10 year reunion. Someone called her parents house trying to get ahold of her. Um... hello? Where the fuck was my call? I was much more popular. ;) Kidding. But I am pissed no one called me.
10 fucking years. So where was I ten years ago? Well the world was my oyster. I was given a choice by my parents. I chose to stay in Utah and go to school. I was madly in love with a person I assumed was the "happily ever after". I had just started a new job. I was getting ready to attend a great college. I was living with my parents and had just got a new car. I wasn't talking to my best friend, we had a falling out over a guy. But I was happy. And I was skinny.
So where am I now?
Well I am older, much older. People call me ma'am. I don't always get an id check when I purchase beer. I have gray hair... lots and lots of gray hair. I am living with my sister. I just bought me a brand spanking new car that I love. I have a job that I love. I am with "happily ever after". I am just a few classes shy of my MBA. And I am barely talking to my previously mentioned best friend. I have the most fantastic friend ever. I am happy. Just not so skinny.
So the title is rotting oyster. Because... well... my oyster stunk. What transpired in these ten years to get me where I am now was hard. Failed relationship after failed relationship. I went through a horrible marriage. Shelly and I had another falling out, again, sort of over a guy. This time it was close to unrepairable. I worked for years in a job I loved but was underpaid and under appreciated. I lost who I am.
I am not, not even for a mili-second, complaining. Everything I went through made me who I am today. If it weren't for the failed relationships I wouldn't know what I want and deserve and I wouldn't be able to see that in the BF. If Shelly and I hadn't have parted ways I never would have met the BFF. I am living with my sister, and at times that is trying, but mostly I love it. I am finally in a job that I love and excel out (okay... I excelled at the other too). And Shelly and I are slowly building a friendship. It is different and it is refreshing.
I guess the moral of this story is that the world may be an oyster... but you don't have to settle for the first one you get. If it starts to smell funky, throw it away and get a new one.
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