Remind me, why do people want to procreate?

I hate bullying. Detest it. I grew up in a small town and was not one of the popular girls. I was friends with all the guys, a tom-boy, and very tall and very skinny. I was bullied all of the time. I survived. In fact, I think I should thank Tanya for helping to build the strong and independent woman that I am today.

Kids will be kids. Right?

I HATE that excuse.

Yes I was bullied, incessantly. The difference between when I was younger and now. There wasn’t the internet. Bullying took place at school and then it was done. It didn’t follow me home. Sure, Tanya could tell everyone lies about me, but she had to spread them, person to person. Now all the modern-day Tanya has to do is update her facebook status and *boom* within a few minutes the entire student body could know the lie.

So I hate bullies, pretty obvious.

Know what I hate more? Parents of bullies. Administrators and teachers at schools were bullying takes place. Ignoring a situation for whatever reason WILL NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Take young Phoebe Prince, a beautiful soul who took her life to end the daily torture. My heart goes out to her family and I hope that the DA continues to push hard and throw the book at the bullies. Felony charges are completely justified and shame on those who think differently. While they are at, and I RARELY support this, sue the school.

Of course the administrators are know claiming that they didn’t know it was this bad. That no one had complained. And maybe, as an immigrant family, this is partially true.

I am not sure yet if I will chose to be a parent. Stories like this make me wonder if it is worth it. The pain and anguish of growing up was hard enough experienced first hand. I can only imagine how much worse it is seeing a child go through it.

For All

I have fully avoided talking about health care. I acknowledge this. Normally I am the first to jump on the political bandwagon and voice my ever-so-present opinion. This time I have refrained. I guess now that a bill has passed it is time to speak up.

I believe that health care is a right, not a privilege. I believe that we all should have equal access to doctors, medicine, hospitals, etc. I believe that it should be affordable. I believe that the current health care system is a big fat in-you-face failure.

I don’t know if I support this current bill.

It is hard, to be for health care reform and disagree with this bill. I strongly believe that there is reform needed but I just don’t think this bill is the answer.

Pre-existing conditions are unfair. Take this example. A man and his wife decide to have a baby. They have health care through his employer. He is let go due to the struggling economy. She works from home so doesn’t have access to work-sponsored heath care. She is three months pregnant and now has no health care. He can pay for Cobra (usually over $800 a month). But as they have just lost their main income, this is going to be tough. They can not find private health care because her pregnancy is a pre-existing condition. How is that fair?

The cost of private health care is astronomical. Take another example. My friend is married and her husband is self-employed. She stays home with their two daughters. They decide to have another child. Understanding that they do not have insurance she signs-up for a program with her doctor that allows her to pay (in advance installments) for the cost of visits and delivery. There are major complications. Her son is born with a hole in his colon. He has to spend the first month of his life in the hospital. Their total bill when all is said and done, over $200K. Is it fair that medical bills bankrupt a family?

We need reform, understandably and unequivocally. But this current bill mandates that every person has insurance, everyone has to purchase it. Pre-existing conditions are now gone… but can anyone say whether the astronomical costs are? My biggest problem with this bill? The government lay in bed with the insurance companies. Those devils that deny claim after claim to make a profit. Also, some states (even my home state of Nebraska) have special privileges while others do not.

I don’t know the answer, and will not claim to. But I do know when something stinks and this bill does. You can’t pass a bill just to pass one and then hope to later clean it up.

Standing on Solid Ground

I imagine that we have all found ourselves, at least at one time or another, disagreeing strongly with the actions of someone we know and care about.

I try, very hardly, to not judge anyone, especially those that I consider part of my circle of friends. Occassionally though, this becomes close to impossible.

I want to shake this person, slap them, do anything that will bring them back to reality. But like so many others, reality is what we make it, and this person truly believes in their self-made reality.

I understand that there is nothing I can do. No words I can speak that won't drive a wedge. So I have chosen to be quite, which is difficult for me. I can only say the same thing so many times, a person must help themselves, or understand for themselves.

I hope that they will.

Growing up is hard to do

I will continue on yesterday's post at a later time. I decided it was far past time for me to take another position on my favorite topic at the moment (well the same moment that has lasted well over a year), equal rights to all.

Thanks to Rexy for pointing me to this story: Constance

In any day-n-age, it is extremely hard to be a teenager, trying to gain acceptance and approval from your peers. I can only imagine how much harder that would be to be an open lesbian in a small Mississippi town. I also can't even fathom how much harder it would be if you were the lesbian who has "taken" away prom from everyone else.

She hasn't taken it away, despite the sentiment of her classmates . She stood up for her rights and the rights of every-single-one of them (though I doubt they understand or appreciate this). It is the bigoted school board that has taken away prom. I guess they too are taking a stand; sadly it is on the wrong side.

Morals and norms mean nothing when they are infringing on the rights of others. It wasn't long ago that Mississippi and other Southern states took the same stance when people of a different color demanded they too are able to attend prom, ride the bus, sit at the soda fountain, vote, etc.

Thank you Constance. You are an example of bravery and perseverance in the face of bigotry, hate, and misguided religious zealots. You have restored my faith that the youth of today may not just fuck this world up.

One of my favorite childhood memories revolves around gardening. I grew up in the Midwest where the land was very furtile. My family had a large garden that I enjoyed working in with my mother.

I want, desperately, to garden again. I just am not sure where to start. If anyone has any suggestions of good reading before starting a garden in Utah.. pass it along.

True power and influence

A very interesting correlation. I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop enjoying their wonderful house roast and studying power and influence among leaders.

I have decided no one has more power and influence over people and situations then unruly children. There seems to be a large misconception among my friends, they believe I dislike children. This is not at all accurate. Ask Rexy, I adore her children and they love me. The difference between Rexy's darlings and the average Utah child? Rexy has rules. She disciplines her children.

I was about an hour into my study, highlighting with a new fever (I love studying leadership, hence I am getting a PhD in Organizational Leadership) when a group of about 7 adults and four children entered the coffee shop. The parents sat at the table behind me and for awhile so did the children. I think the parents mistakenly gave the children coffee and not one of the many child-drinks offered.

Before I knew it the coffee shop was being taken over by these monsters who ran around, yelled at each other, ran in and out and in and out, and became overall nuisances. A young woman who was also here with her computer doing some studying left to her car to continue work in silence. Normally I would not continue to subject myself to this behavior, but I was comfortable and knee deep in John P Kotter. I am not in the mood to take on 7 adults so I waited, patiently, for the parents to realize my over-the-shoulder looks were in their direction.

They did not. After about an hour of this behavior they finally left. A few minutes later one of the employees came up to me and ask if I minded if she used the vacuum. Vacuum?? That is sweet music compared to what I just heard. She mentioned that it was annoying and that they had five people call and complain. Wow. And "But people should understand when you go out in public there will be children". I almost smacked her emo-dyed hair.

I expect that there will always be children, actually I hope there always will be. Civilization can not continue if our species does not continue to reproduce. What I do not expect, nor do I normally tolerate, are kids who are out-of-control. I am saying kids. The youngest one was close to 12. I am not talking babies who don't understand or (for a former friend who took things out of context) children with disabilities. There is no excuse for a parent to use a coffee shop, or any public place (except for those intended) as a running playground for their children.

It isn't hard to keep your kids well behaved. I imagine (because I don't hav children) that all it takes are some boundaries and consequences. Not much unlike the different theories on power and leadership.

And to clarify... I don't like kids parents who don't use power and influence over their kids.

Actual Words of Wisdom

Because nothing I say could have as much meaning...

"We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair." - MLK