Friday, February 29, 2008
8 Years Later
Finally it is official. I have a new job! I still get to stay with the same company but finally get to make a move into the marketing department. I am going to be working in our Fleet department as a sales rep. I am uber stoked about it and my new boss is a fantastic man. The thing that sucks is because my current job is so specialized it is going to take awhile to find someone to fill my position and train them. So for the next month or so I will be splitting my days and working more overtime then I want to think of. Which is a good thing. I could always use some extra cash to by more shoes.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The perpetuation of hate
I am sick to death, sick to death (repeating incase you weren't aware of how sick I am of it), of people attacking Obama because of his heritage. It really has gotten old. And it shows how much of a force he is, people are scared of the change he represents and are reaching for the lowests of lows by attacking a man based on his name. So his name is of middle eastern heritage, so fucking what. I have a very german last name, doesn't mean I am nazi. It has just gotten so out of hand. And the people that believe these falsifications, please, quit allowing ignorance and fear of change rule your life. Be intelligent, look into the facts.
The email stated reasons that Obama can't be elected, based on him following Islam. The problem starts at the beginning. He isn't Muslim. He never has been. His father was, yes the father that left him and his mother. He was not raised in the Islamic religion. He is, in fact, a christian.
The reasons a Muslim can't be president?
CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?
Theologically - no.....Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia.
First of all, Allah means God. Allah is the Islamic word for God. Just as Yahweh is the jewish name for god. Actually Suen is the name of the moon god. Having an allegiance to allah is no different then having an alligence to Yahweh or God.
Religiously - no.....Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam (Qur'an, 2:256)
Okay the actual verse "There is no compulsion in religion". The idea that this means that no other religion is accepted is something created by western religions leaders. Every religion likes to believe that they have it right. Christians, Jews, Catholics, Mormans... that is something they all believe in, that they have it right. Why is it so wrong for Islam?
Scripturally - no.....Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Qur'an.
The five pillars of Islam are: Faith, Prayers, Almsgiving, Fasting and Pilgrimage.
And because of this a person who is muslim can't be an american? So as a christian you can't be an american because you pledge your alligence to the bible, the cross? Or mormans can't be american because they pledge their alligence to the bible, the book of morman, a modern day prophet, they fast too... it goes on and on.
This would also mean that all Christians and Jews are bad Americans because they too give their "allegiance" to their doctrines and holy books. (The Five Pillars of Islam are: Faith, Prayers, Almsgiving, Fasting, and Pilgrimage.)
Geographically - no.....Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.
Mecca is a religious site. It is not a country, it is not a state. At this point the person who created this email is reaching, looking for things. I think it says something deep about the Islamic religion that followers strive to visit such a holy place.
Socially - no...Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews..
Hogwash. I haven't fully studied the Quran, but you can bet your ass I will be now. But I don't think this is right. I have two friends who are Islamic, and guess what... they are still my friends. In fact they have never tried to push me. We get along smashingly. This is like saying that christians and jews can't be friends.
From the Qur'an: [5.2] "Do not let your hatred of a people incite you to aggression." And also [5.8] "do not let ill-will towards any folk incite you so that you swerve from dealing justly. Be just; that is nearest to heedfulness".
While it is true that the Koran is critical of the Christians holy trinity and of the Jews refusal to accept Jesus and Muhammad as messengers of God but there are disparities between all religions.
Politically - no.....Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.
There is no hierarchical authority in Islam and there are no priests. Prayers are led by a learned person who knows the Qur'an and is generally chosen by the congregation. A Mullah is a name given to these learned persons and means both vicar and guardian.
Domestically - no.....Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Qur'an 4:34).
Yes, it is true that Islam does allow a man to take up to four wives but only if he can provide for each one equally. This means financially and emotionally. It must be noted that this is not practiced by all sects of Islam and that it is also the practice of some Mormons of the Christian sect.
Sadly it does state in the Qur'an [4.34] "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great." From Leviticus [24:16] "anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death." Also, from Exodus [31:14] "Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; whoever does any work on that day must be cut off from his people." Would this also make Christians bad Americans? My point is that just because it is stated in a holy book doesn't necessarily mean that it is accepted or being practiced.
Intellectually - no.....Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles, and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.
First of all, Islam has the same old testemant that we do. This statement implies that only Christians could possibly be good Americans because most other religions don't follow the Bible. Like I stated earlier the Qur'an is highly critical of the Christians holy trinity because Muslims believe there to be only one God and see the holy trinity as a declaration of three separate gods (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). Muslims do in fact believe in Jesus. He is second only to Muhammad, the founder of the Islamic faith. Both Christians and Muslims agree that he was born of a virgin, performed miracles and raised the dead. Muslims also believe in Adam, Noah, Abraham and Moses. (Any religion is bound to be critical and find fault in another religions holy book(s).)
Philosophically - no.....Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Qur'an do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.
If you are a Muslim it would stand to reason that you would follow Islam and its holy books and religious icons. You wouldn't be a Muslim and follow the books of Christianity or Judaism…that wouldn't make any sense. Also, in the three years since the start of the Iraq war, a number of Muslim countries have taken tentative steps toward democratic politics. Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim country, is also now considered the world's third-largest democracy. There are other Muslim countries taking steps toward democracies including: Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Chad, Yemen, Tajikistan, and the United Arab Emirates. (Just to name a few!)
Spiritually - no.....Because when we declare 'one nation under God,' the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Qur'an's 99 excellent names.
God is only called Heavenly Father a handful of times and does it really matter that Allah is not called Heavenly Father? Also, Allah is refereed to as "loving" many times over in the Qur'an.
[2.195] "…Allah loves the doers of good."
[2.222] "…Allah loves those who turn much (to Him)…"
[3.31] "…Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is forgiving, merciful."
[3.76] "…Allah loves those who guard (against evil)."
[3.146] "…Allah loves the patient."
[3.159] "…Allah loves those who trust."
[5.42] "…Allah loves those who judge equitably."
[5.93] "…Allah loves those who do good (to others)."
[9.4] "…Allah loves those who are careful (of their duty)."
[9.108] "…Allah loves those who purify themselves."
[49.9] "…Allah loves those who act equitably."
[60.8] "…Allah loves the doers of justice."
He seems pretty loving to me…
I hope this will help some people to better understand Islam and to keep an open mind when it comes to things they don't fully understand or know much about. I wish people would stop perpetuating the hatred of other people. If you don't understand something look into it for yourself and don't rely on mass media for the whole truth. You must know that most news sources in the U.S. (TV, Radio, Newspapers…ect.) are all owned by a small select group of people with the same ideas and opinions. Be a critical thinker and look for your own independent sources…
The email stated reasons that Obama can't be elected, based on him following Islam. The problem starts at the beginning. He isn't Muslim. He never has been. His father was, yes the father that left him and his mother. He was not raised in the Islamic religion. He is, in fact, a christian.
The reasons a Muslim can't be president?
CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?
Theologically - no.....Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia.
First of all, Allah means God. Allah is the Islamic word for God. Just as Yahweh is the jewish name for god. Actually Suen is the name of the moon god. Having an allegiance to allah is no different then having an alligence to Yahweh or God.
Religiously - no.....Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam (Qur'an, 2:256)
Okay the actual verse "There is no compulsion in religion". The idea that this means that no other religion is accepted is something created by western religions leaders. Every religion likes to believe that they have it right. Christians, Jews, Catholics, Mormans... that is something they all believe in, that they have it right. Why is it so wrong for Islam?
Scripturally - no.....Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Qur'an.
The five pillars of Islam are: Faith, Prayers, Almsgiving, Fasting and Pilgrimage.
And because of this a person who is muslim can't be an american? So as a christian you can't be an american because you pledge your alligence to the bible, the cross? Or mormans can't be american because they pledge their alligence to the bible, the book of morman, a modern day prophet, they fast too... it goes on and on.
This would also mean that all Christians and Jews are bad Americans because they too give their "allegiance" to their doctrines and holy books. (The Five Pillars of Islam are: Faith, Prayers, Almsgiving, Fasting, and Pilgrimage.)
Geographically - no.....Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.
Mecca is a religious site. It is not a country, it is not a state. At this point the person who created this email is reaching, looking for things. I think it says something deep about the Islamic religion that followers strive to visit such a holy place.
Socially - no...Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews..
Hogwash. I haven't fully studied the Quran, but you can bet your ass I will be now. But I don't think this is right. I have two friends who are Islamic, and guess what... they are still my friends. In fact they have never tried to push me. We get along smashingly. This is like saying that christians and jews can't be friends.
From the Qur'an: [5.2] "Do not let your hatred of a people incite you to aggression." And also [5.8] "do not let ill-will towards any folk incite you so that you swerve from dealing justly. Be just; that is nearest to heedfulness".
While it is true that the Koran is critical of the Christians holy trinity and of the Jews refusal to accept Jesus and Muhammad as messengers of God but there are disparities between all religions.
Politically - no.....Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.
There is no hierarchical authority in Islam and there are no priests. Prayers are led by a learned person who knows the Qur'an and is generally chosen by the congregation. A Mullah is a name given to these learned persons and means both vicar and guardian.
Domestically - no.....Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Qur'an 4:34).
Yes, it is true that Islam does allow a man to take up to four wives but only if he can provide for each one equally. This means financially and emotionally. It must be noted that this is not practiced by all sects of Islam and that it is also the practice of some Mormons of the Christian sect.
Sadly it does state in the Qur'an [4.34] "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great." From Leviticus [24:16] "anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death." Also, from Exodus [31:14] "Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; whoever does any work on that day must be cut off from his people." Would this also make Christians bad Americans? My point is that just because it is stated in a holy book doesn't necessarily mean that it is accepted or being practiced.
Intellectually - no.....Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles, and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.
First of all, Islam has the same old testemant that we do. This statement implies that only Christians could possibly be good Americans because most other religions don't follow the Bible. Like I stated earlier the Qur'an is highly critical of the Christians holy trinity because Muslims believe there to be only one God and see the holy trinity as a declaration of three separate gods (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). Muslims do in fact believe in Jesus. He is second only to Muhammad, the founder of the Islamic faith. Both Christians and Muslims agree that he was born of a virgin, performed miracles and raised the dead. Muslims also believe in Adam, Noah, Abraham and Moses. (Any religion is bound to be critical and find fault in another religions holy book(s).)
Philosophically - no.....Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Qur'an do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.
If you are a Muslim it would stand to reason that you would follow Islam and its holy books and religious icons. You wouldn't be a Muslim and follow the books of Christianity or Judaism…that wouldn't make any sense. Also, in the three years since the start of the Iraq war, a number of Muslim countries have taken tentative steps toward democratic politics. Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim country, is also now considered the world's third-largest democracy. There are other Muslim countries taking steps toward democracies including: Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Chad, Yemen, Tajikistan, and the United Arab Emirates. (Just to name a few!)
Spiritually - no.....Because when we declare 'one nation under God,' the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Qur'an's 99 excellent names.
God is only called Heavenly Father a handful of times and does it really matter that Allah is not called Heavenly Father? Also, Allah is refereed to as "loving" many times over in the Qur'an.
[2.195] "…Allah loves the doers of good."
[2.222] "…Allah loves those who turn much (to Him)…"
[3.31] "…Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is forgiving, merciful."
[3.76] "…Allah loves those who guard (against evil)."
[3.146] "…Allah loves the patient."
[3.159] "…Allah loves those who trust."
[5.42] "…Allah loves those who judge equitably."
[5.93] "…Allah loves those who do good (to others)."
[9.4] "…Allah loves those who are careful (of their duty)."
[9.108] "…Allah loves those who purify themselves."
[49.9] "…Allah loves those who act equitably."
[60.8] "…Allah loves the doers of justice."
He seems pretty loving to me…
I hope this will help some people to better understand Islam and to keep an open mind when it comes to things they don't fully understand or know much about. I wish people would stop perpetuating the hatred of other people. If you don't understand something look into it for yourself and don't rely on mass media for the whole truth. You must know that most news sources in the U.S. (TV, Radio, Newspapers…ect.) are all owned by a small select group of people with the same ideas and opinions. Be a critical thinker and look for your own independent sources…
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Upward Mobility
Finally... after years of trying, I get to move on. I can't say much yet, because things are unofficial. But it's about damn time. And I love how people talk. Cracks me up.
I've decided that Reagan and I are going to give it another go. But things have to be different. You see it's been so long since I've functioned in a relationship that I just don't know how. So I take the easy way out, which is so unlike me. While what happened was hard, there was a valid explaination. I'm a little reserved, a little distant, but I plan on working on that. Because I do love him.
San Diego this weekend, which I can't wait for. Warm weather sounds perfect right about now.
I've decided that Reagan and I are going to give it another go. But things have to be different. You see it's been so long since I've functioned in a relationship that I just don't know how. So I take the easy way out, which is so unlike me. While what happened was hard, there was a valid explaination. I'm a little reserved, a little distant, but I plan on working on that. Because I do love him.
San Diego this weekend, which I can't wait for. Warm weather sounds perfect right about now.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Reagan left office
Ugh. So I am apart from Reagan. I have to take some time and decide if this is what I want. Now don't get your panties all in a bunch. I am not running for no reason. Some things came to light that have forced me to step back and decide if this can work. But I can't until after I finish this current paper. I really don't have the time to think this through fully and I am not going to make any rash decisions.
So Matilda, the best friend ever, knew I was having a horrible day. He and I had made plans to share a beer and gossip, but in light of the new development with Reagan I felt it was best to postpone said drinkfest. So there I was, at home, in sweats, watching horrible reality tv when I got a text.
Matilda: Drunk Yet?
Me: Haven't had a drop. Reagan sent me his explanation.
Matilda: I'm unclear, he's in legal trouble because he married 2 girls.
Me: It's complicated. I'll give you the 411 tomorrow night. Between the two of us we could write a book. Seriously.
Matilda: Yeah we could, yours would be in crayon because you are a girl and girls are dumb and smell funny and have cooties and pee sitting down and far a lot...
Me: Um, I'm not sure how else to respond, other then to tel you that I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Oh yeah, and quit drinking.
Matilda: Fuck you, I'm sober for now.
Me: Ha. And while what you said was true you forgot to that girls have vaginas and you're a fan.
Matilda: Unless they are bloody, then I just don't look down.
Me: Oh for the love of god.
Matilda: See, grosses you out too.
So. I got to have a great laugh. Which was what his intention was. He knows me all too well.
So Matilda, the best friend ever, knew I was having a horrible day. He and I had made plans to share a beer and gossip, but in light of the new development with Reagan I felt it was best to postpone said drinkfest. So there I was, at home, in sweats, watching horrible reality tv when I got a text.
Matilda: Drunk Yet?
Me: Haven't had a drop. Reagan sent me his explanation.
Matilda: I'm unclear, he's in legal trouble because he married 2 girls.
Me: It's complicated. I'll give you the 411 tomorrow night. Between the two of us we could write a book. Seriously.
Matilda: Yeah we could, yours would be in crayon because you are a girl and girls are dumb and smell funny and have cooties and pee sitting down and far a lot...
Me: Um, I'm not sure how else to respond, other then to tel you that I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Oh yeah, and quit drinking.
Matilda: Fuck you, I'm sober for now.
Me: Ha. And while what you said was true you forgot to that girls have vaginas and you're a fan.
Matilda: Unless they are bloody, then I just don't look down.
Me: Oh for the love of god.
Matilda: See, grosses you out too.
So. I got to have a great laugh. Which was what his intention was. He knows me all too well.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I should spell it out
And maybe create one of those giant signs you see at sporting events. Because people pay attention to those. But he just can't seem to get it.
A little history. J and I have been friends for going on 7 years. I met him through my old friend Shelly. Well... for some reason late last fall he and I decided that we'd give it a go.
To be honest, part of me knew, from the start, that this was not a good idea. I have rules and dating a friend would be breaking one of those rules. It is a rule for good reason. When you make the step from friends to dating or from friends to fucking, there are ramifications. You can't easily backpedal to where you were before. There is extra responsibility. You don't want to hurt a friend, so even if you want to end things, you can't, not easily. You have to take time, you have to say all of the right things.
But I did it anyways. Because, well, why not?
It didn't work. We didn't work. He is a great guy, hillarious, sweet as can be. But he wasn't the one for me. I wasn't ready for a relationship. There were so many reasons that this wasn't going to work.
So I ended things. Honestly. But I made a little mistake. A small, what seemed to be insignificant issue. The sex was fantastic. So I agreed that we could continue that. I mean he's a guy. It shouldn't be hard at all to seperate sex and emotion.
I was wrong.
The last time I saw him was before Christmas and things had been officially over since early December.
Then on VDay I get a text from him, out of the blue.
"I heard through the grapevine that you are seeing someone, and it is serious and that you are happy."
Fuck Fuck Fuck. Why can't people mind their own god damn business. Why? Why do they have to go running to him?
I responded "Yes I am. I wasn't looking for it, this just happened. And yes I am very happy".
And with that I hoped it was over. I really believed that he could read that and understand that I am happy. And while I adore him (J), I can't continue to feel responsible because he can't move on. And Regan was understanding about it. Because yes, there I was laying in bed, naked... texting my ex. "Well, I can see how he would still be hung up on you". Really? Too cute.
It didn't end there. The next day I received another text about how I shouldn't worry and that he would get over me. That I had hurt him. Blah Blah Blah. I no longer feel bad. Because this is his fault. It has been close to two months. I haven't seen you in that whole time. What were you thinking? That I'd wake up one morning and think differently about everything?
I finally sent him a message saying I hoped he could just be happy for me.
This is why I HATE relationships, not the one I am in now. But old relationships. I have been too lucky that most of my exes aren't in the state anymore. Only other is, and he is my dearest friend.
Hopefully this will be the end with J. It sucks that I doubt we can be friends again. But... I did what I could. It is time to just be happy and not worry so much about things that are beyond my control.
A little history. J and I have been friends for going on 7 years. I met him through my old friend Shelly. Well... for some reason late last fall he and I decided that we'd give it a go.
To be honest, part of me knew, from the start, that this was not a good idea. I have rules and dating a friend would be breaking one of those rules. It is a rule for good reason. When you make the step from friends to dating or from friends to fucking, there are ramifications. You can't easily backpedal to where you were before. There is extra responsibility. You don't want to hurt a friend, so even if you want to end things, you can't, not easily. You have to take time, you have to say all of the right things.
But I did it anyways. Because, well, why not?
It didn't work. We didn't work. He is a great guy, hillarious, sweet as can be. But he wasn't the one for me. I wasn't ready for a relationship. There were so many reasons that this wasn't going to work.
So I ended things. Honestly. But I made a little mistake. A small, what seemed to be insignificant issue. The sex was fantastic. So I agreed that we could continue that. I mean he's a guy. It shouldn't be hard at all to seperate sex and emotion.
I was wrong.
The last time I saw him was before Christmas and things had been officially over since early December.
Then on VDay I get a text from him, out of the blue.
"I heard through the grapevine that you are seeing someone, and it is serious and that you are happy."
Fuck Fuck Fuck. Why can't people mind their own god damn business. Why? Why do they have to go running to him?
I responded "Yes I am. I wasn't looking for it, this just happened. And yes I am very happy".
And with that I hoped it was over. I really believed that he could read that and understand that I am happy. And while I adore him (J), I can't continue to feel responsible because he can't move on. And Regan was understanding about it. Because yes, there I was laying in bed, naked... texting my ex. "Well, I can see how he would still be hung up on you". Really? Too cute.
It didn't end there. The next day I received another text about how I shouldn't worry and that he would get over me. That I had hurt him. Blah Blah Blah. I no longer feel bad. Because this is his fault. It has been close to two months. I haven't seen you in that whole time. What were you thinking? That I'd wake up one morning and think differently about everything?
I finally sent him a message saying I hoped he could just be happy for me.
This is why I HATE relationships, not the one I am in now. But old relationships. I have been too lucky that most of my exes aren't in the state anymore. Only other is, and he is my dearest friend.
Hopefully this will be the end with J. It sucks that I doubt we can be friends again. But... I did what I could. It is time to just be happy and not worry so much about things that are beyond my control.
Monday, February 18, 2008
What is wrong with girls?
Seriously? Anyone? Someone has to have an opinion, and opinion that may become an answer to this question.
Now I ask this, not because of what is wrong with me, that is a whole nother story, maybe I will tie it in here.
But no. I ask what is wrong with girls in general. Why are they so callous, bitchy, unloving? Why must they take genuine good guys and fuck them over? And why must they chose my guys to do this to?
I guess I can ask a better question. What is wrong with people in general? Is it just me or does it seem like people don't care anymore. No longer are people afraid of hurting someone, sometimes it seems as if they actually find some pleasure in doing so.
You'd think that in this day and age we'd have more compassion, more of a desire to not inflict pain. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Instead I see people, all over the place, hurting those that love them. Hurting friends, family, and lovers. Because why?
What has happened to this generation that we no longer care about the ramifications of our actions or inactions? Is life really that terrible that we don't have time to be nice? Is there joy found somewhere in ripping somone's heart out?
I have my own issues, I will be the first to admit that. But the one thing that I don't do is set out to hurt people. I will avoid that at all costs, even if it means I might hurt myself a little. Because while I can be a nasty bitch, I am also a very loving person. I don't want to see someone in pain because of my doing. That will break my heart.
And I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable. We can't be fully responsible for other peoples actions or reactions. We only can do what we can and be honest about it. Have I hurt people? Sure. I have. It happens, because that is life. But I take every step possible to shield the hurt, to make it managable, to not come off as callous.
But I don't see that often enough. I do see if with my friends, that is why I love them. So it angers me, to no end, to see other people lack this regard when it comes to my friends.
If you want to be that low, please by all means do. But don't fuck with my friends.
Now I ask this, not because of what is wrong with me, that is a whole nother story, maybe I will tie it in here.
But no. I ask what is wrong with girls in general. Why are they so callous, bitchy, unloving? Why must they take genuine good guys and fuck them over? And why must they chose my guys to do this to?
I guess I can ask a better question. What is wrong with people in general? Is it just me or does it seem like people don't care anymore. No longer are people afraid of hurting someone, sometimes it seems as if they actually find some pleasure in doing so.
You'd think that in this day and age we'd have more compassion, more of a desire to not inflict pain. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Instead I see people, all over the place, hurting those that love them. Hurting friends, family, and lovers. Because why?
What has happened to this generation that we no longer care about the ramifications of our actions or inactions? Is life really that terrible that we don't have time to be nice? Is there joy found somewhere in ripping somone's heart out?
I have my own issues, I will be the first to admit that. But the one thing that I don't do is set out to hurt people. I will avoid that at all costs, even if it means I might hurt myself a little. Because while I can be a nasty bitch, I am also a very loving person. I don't want to see someone in pain because of my doing. That will break my heart.
And I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable. We can't be fully responsible for other peoples actions or reactions. We only can do what we can and be honest about it. Have I hurt people? Sure. I have. It happens, because that is life. But I take every step possible to shield the hurt, to make it managable, to not come off as callous.
But I don't see that often enough. I do see if with my friends, that is why I love them. So it angers me, to no end, to see other people lack this regard when it comes to my friends.
If you want to be that low, please by all means do. But don't fuck with my friends.
New day
I've decided to take a new approach to this whole blogging thing. I guess you can say I am becoming tired of the lame attempts at blogging that I have used in the past year or so. I remember the day when I always had something to say, usually in a sore attempt at pissing someone off.
And I need something different then myspace. It has become tired and old, simiiar to what I feel I have become.
I can't say where this is going, if anywhere. Frankly I think I may be too busy to keep up a blog. Or too sidetracked. But I really want to. There is little that brings me greater joy then putting pen to paper (figuratively speaking of course). And the idea that someone might read the words I string together and enjoy or find inspiration in them, that is what drives me.
Yesterday as I was laying in bed, nursing the mother of all headaches, I had a story start in my head. This happens to me often, but for the most part I push them aside. Because I can't commit to finishing an entire story on paper. I lose patience, I lose drive, I lose words. But this one, it speaks to me. Deep in my soul. So I will go with it. I wrote for hours yesterday, just kept going, my nimble fingers aching.
It is good. Really good. It has some truth in it, small tid-bits from my actual life, mixed in with fiction. Whether it will continue to be good, or make the leap from good to great, that has yet to be seen.
I've become sidetracked again. Which happens all too often. Hopefully the passion to write stays with me a little longer then it has in the past.
And I need something different then myspace. It has become tired and old, simiiar to what I feel I have become.
I can't say where this is going, if anywhere. Frankly I think I may be too busy to keep up a blog. Or too sidetracked. But I really want to. There is little that brings me greater joy then putting pen to paper (figuratively speaking of course). And the idea that someone might read the words I string together and enjoy or find inspiration in them, that is what drives me.
Yesterday as I was laying in bed, nursing the mother of all headaches, I had a story start in my head. This happens to me often, but for the most part I push them aside. Because I can't commit to finishing an entire story on paper. I lose patience, I lose drive, I lose words. But this one, it speaks to me. Deep in my soul. So I will go with it. I wrote for hours yesterday, just kept going, my nimble fingers aching.
It is good. Really good. It has some truth in it, small tid-bits from my actual life, mixed in with fiction. Whether it will continue to be good, or make the leap from good to great, that has yet to be seen.
I've become sidetracked again. Which happens all too often. Hopefully the passion to write stays with me a little longer then it has in the past.
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