I should spell it out

And maybe create one of those giant signs you see at sporting events. Because people pay attention to those. But he just can't seem to get it.

A little history. J and I have been friends for going on 7 years. I met him through my old friend Shelly. Well... for some reason late last fall he and I decided that we'd give it a go.

To be honest, part of me knew, from the start, that this was not a good idea. I have rules and dating a friend would be breaking one of those rules. It is a rule for good reason. When you make the step from friends to dating or from friends to fucking, there are ramifications. You can't easily backpedal to where you were before. There is extra responsibility. You don't want to hurt a friend, so even if you want to end things, you can't, not easily. You have to take time, you have to say all of the right things.

But I did it anyways. Because, well, why not?

It didn't work. We didn't work. He is a great guy, hillarious, sweet as can be. But he wasn't the one for me. I wasn't ready for a relationship. There were so many reasons that this wasn't going to work.

So I ended things. Honestly. But I made a little mistake. A small, what seemed to be insignificant issue. The sex was fantastic. So I agreed that we could continue that. I mean he's a guy. It shouldn't be hard at all to seperate sex and emotion.

I was wrong.

The last time I saw him was before Christmas and things had been officially over since early December.

Then on VDay I get a text from him, out of the blue.

"I heard through the grapevine that you are seeing someone, and it is serious and that you are happy."

Fuck Fuck Fuck. Why can't people mind their own god damn business. Why? Why do they have to go running to him?

I responded "Yes I am. I wasn't looking for it, this just happened. And yes I am very happy".

And with that I hoped it was over. I really believed that he could read that and understand that I am happy. And while I adore him (J), I can't continue to feel responsible because he can't move on. And Regan was understanding about it. Because yes, there I was laying in bed, naked... texting my ex. "Well, I can see how he would still be hung up on you". Really? Too cute.

It didn't end there. The next day I received another text about how I shouldn't worry and that he would get over me. That I had hurt him. Blah Blah Blah. I no longer feel bad. Because this is his fault. It has been close to two months. I haven't seen you in that whole time. What were you thinking? That I'd wake up one morning and think differently about everything?

I finally sent him a message saying I hoped he could just be happy for me.

This is why I HATE relationships, not the one I am in now. But old relationships. I have been too lucky that most of my exes aren't in the state anymore. Only other is, and he is my dearest friend.

Hopefully this will be the end with J. It sucks that I doubt we can be friends again. But... I did what I could. It is time to just be happy and not worry so much about things that are beyond my control.