Introducing Mr and Mrs

As some may know, I am getting married in a few months. It took awhile for both of us to take this step even though I can say, with certainty, that we are perfectly matched. As we have both been down this road before, you can imagine the trepidation with making this type of commitment. But we are doing it, only for ourselves, not because everyone else wants it.

One of the first conversations we had regarded name changing. I made the decision after my last marriage that I would not do that again. Wrong or right, I believe my identity is somewhat tied to my last name. Plus, the last name rocks. We discussed it and he is okay with that, he understands that I have built recognition with my name, professionally speaking.

I had a conversation with someone this last week about getting married and she asked what my new last name would be. I informed her that I wasn't changing my name. "You are lucky you found someone that will let you keep your name". Let me? Wow. I was unaware that anyone let me do anything. I was under the distinct impression that I am in charge of my life. That isn't to say that I don't value the opinion of those close to me or the support of them. But no one lets me do anything. I was in a marriage was I was allowed to do things and not allowed to do many more. That is a road I will never again travel.

One of the best qualities of the fiance is the fact that he allows me to be me. He understands that I am stubborn, aggressive, and in control of my life. He respects my individuality and doesn't want that to change. He doesn't worry about what he will and will not let me do.

Piece of advice for everyone out there. If you are with someone that lets you do things, you aren't in the right relationship. A relationship isn't about asking permission or waiting for someone to grant you rights. I have never and will never ask for permission to be me.

Shame on you

We all have been in a place where we have made a bad descision. It is part of human nature, to make mistakes. I feel that everyone deserves a second chance.

But....

There comes a point in time where someone makes a decision so hurtful and with such purpose that it becomes impossible to forgive and you are only left to forget.

But sometimes...

You can't forget. Sometimes they hurtful nature is too much to forgive or forget. And then you are left with finding options to deal.

And that is fine, I can deal with the best of them.

Epistemology

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. I have an advance degree and I tend to be a very logical, if not overly, thinker.

In college I struggled with mathematical courses (account, statistics, finance, etc). In my MBA program I didn't have to deal with those courses and found that I excelled. Give me a chance to answer a question with an essay response or give me a 3000 word paper over multiple choice and I will love you forever.

So why is it that for the first time in YEARS I am finding myself questioning my ability to grasp new concepts?

When I stated that I am intelligent I should have also mentioned that I am not the intelligent person that reads something once and remembers all valid points. Instead I have to read and highlight a document, then reread and take notes to fully grasp the concepts. I think recognizing my need to take some extra time adds to my assessment of intelligence.

I am currently taking a class in my doctorate program, Knowledge of Theory and Practice. Sounds simple enough right? What I didn't know was that this class was a disguise for philosophy, possibly the stupidest subject known to man.

In my undergraduate studies at the U I had two take two philosophy based courses. I did this by taking a class on social ethics and world religions. I had NO desire to contemplate if the table was there or if it was not there. How that at all helps our society or expands on knowledge is beyond me.

I believe that those who study philosophy at this general level are really just unable to commit to a god damn thing. I normally avoid knocking any type of study, but I will knock the HELL out of the study of general philosophy. It provides NOTHING to ANYONE.

I want to tear out every last gray hair on my head. And I imagine, as this class continues, that I will grow more gray hairs to pull out. I understand the importance of knowledge and applying theories into practice. This is  fundamental process in the doctoral journey. I do not understand how debating the philosophy of knowledge is fundamental to anything. This is the biggest waste of my time and money, and I plan on letting the University know this.

We're not there... Yet

Earlier this month I spent a week of my life, a very long week that I will never get back, participating in the residency program for my doctorate. It was hell. And when I say hell I mean HELL. I spent five days getting up at 6am, far earlier then my normal routine. Spending over 8 hours in class discussing theory and practice and how critical thinking, reading, and writing impact our lives and learning experiences. If that wasn't enough I usually spent the next five to seven hours in my hotel room reading and writing papers. Then I slept, if I was lucky it was for a full six hours before the entire routine started over again.

It was a great experience, I can say that now that I am almost two weeks past it and back home. I finally think I have some good ideas for my dissertation, which I will refrain from boring you with. I made some great personal and professional contacts and was introduced to this online phenomenon called linked in.

I hadn't given much more thought to my stay there until this last week. The residency was in Phoenix. It was my first time visiting the city, and while it was pretty (in that way that I imagine the gateway to hell is pretty), it wasn't my cup of tea.

This week Arizona decided to pass a new law. The law makers will tell you that their intentions are to fix the valid immigration issues that their state faces. They are now allowed to demand proof of legal resident from anyone. Yes even YOU would have to show proof.

I am disgusted. I am outraged. I am really sickened by this legal racism. I will also tell you I UNDERSTAND, there is a problem with our immigration policy. I do believe that not acting has lead us to this point. I know that illegal residents are a drain on our already thin tax dollars. Believe me, I understand there is a problem and I know that we need a radical solution.

This isn't it.

I can't believe some of my more sane friends are behind this law. They say it isn't racism, that people are over-reacting. They say you shouldn't worry about providing papers if you aren't doing anything illegal. Sigh, my friends. Ask my sister about my stance on allowing things to happen with out a fight. She tell you I have a very hard stance, I don't give an inch in fear that they WILL take a mile. I am not an anarchist, just a realist.

Our country was created to provide us certain unalienable RIGHTS. That we are all created EQUAL. This Constitution was drafted by some that would these days be considered ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

My ancestors on my fathers side came here legally as did many of those that are four or five (some even two) generation American. The difference? Immigration policies were much lighter then. We were the land of the free in the brave. This was the place that people came to escape poverty and oppression. In 1965 our country passed the Hart Celler Act to remove quotes.

I will take a moment to step off my soap box and tell you a story about my time in Arizona. I stayed in a hotel and each day saw one to two different employees. Every day I took two cabs, never having the same driver. Through out the day at the University I encountered a number of employees. Every evening I would walk to a different hotel and enjoying dinner. I even walked to the gas station on a couple of occasions.

In that entire six days I was there. I never once encountered anyone that didn't speak English. The only time I really encountered someone of Hispanic descent was once with a cab driver and the custodial service at the University. The custodian was very friendly and we had more than a few conversations.

I will not pretend to know the percentage of Hispanics in Arizona but I was surprised, in hindsight, that I didn't experience what some have called a change in the population. So each day I was around approximately 10 employees of various companies and never found myself to be in the presences of someone that could be considered as an illegal immigrant. How is that possible?

The companies make that possible. These companies (Extended Stay Hotels, Quick Trip, Discount Cab of Phoenix, Sheraton Hotel, and University of Phoenix) are the SOLUTION. The PROBLEM isn't the immigrants it is the companies who continue to employee undocumented workers. Why aren't the republicans crying wolf on this???? Because they support big business and those many companies that line their pockets would cry foul if they were to stand up and speak out.

People are escaping here for a better life. Companies across this country are giving them the incentive to do it illegally. Instead of ripping families apart and endorsing state sanctioned racism, lets start fining and arresting those who every day take advantage and rob legal citizens of all races and nationalities.

Chicken Santa What?

So my current mission, which I accepted but have yet to commit to, fully, is to bring my lunch every day and dinner every night. (Ah, the pleasures of working two jobs).

I decided, with the help of a nice sale at the local grocery store, to purchase a number of Smart Ones meals from Weight Watchers. This was for two reasons, I remember, a long time ago when I had accepted this mission (and failed) that they weren't half bad and really aren't loaded with calories.

Yesterday I enjoyed two very nice meals; Teriyaki Chicken and Veggies for lunch and Lasagna Bake with Meat Sauce. I was very pleased with both meals. My lunch was just the right portion size to be complimented with fresh fruit (god I love fresh pineapple) and the sauce was great. The chicken didn't have that frozen-meal taste or texture. The lasagna wasn't dry and the sauce was nice, if not a little too sweet for my tastes, but all-in-all a great meal (with a nice pear on the side).

Today I grabbed the Chicken Santa Fe and Home-style Pot Roast, both part of the Bistro collection. I wonder if my definition of bistro is wrong. Maybe in Weight Watchers lingo Bistro is more similar to vomit?

I'm fairly certain I have throw shit up that looks more appetizing then that. I ended up eating only the chicken as I was unaware that it was possible for black beans to become drier.

Le Sigh, it is safe to say that I am not too interested in my dinner meal. Tragic.

And where the hell did the spell-checker my blog go? Are the blog gods not aware that I am possibly the world's WORST   least competent speller?

Schools Out

I must preface this blog by stating that I am the daughter of an educator, so I will also state that some opinions expressed are likely to be slightly influenced by this.

Utah, like many states, is seeing a budget short-fall and one of the areas that is taking a hit is public education. I can not think of an area that can not lose money more. Education is the foundation of life. With out adequate education we are sitting up the children of our future to fail. Look at my generation and compare them to the current high-schoolers, I imagine you will see a significant difference in the importance place on education.

Sadly, I feel too many parents over-look the importance of education. They see it as free baby-sitting. I am astounded by how many of my friends can't wait for their child to hit 5 so they don't have to worry about day care. And full day kindergarten? WTF, how is a five year old at all expected to sit through 8 hours of class? Give me a break. If you have a child you have MADE THAT DECISION. With that comes sacrifices, one of those being time/money to watch that child until they are of age to be left alone.

And on that note, how dare people have more kids than they can afford to educate. It is ridiculous how many parents receive more money from the state of Utah than they paid in taxes because of the number of children they have popped out. These parents are free-loaders and are just as much a harm to society as those who abuse other state assistance (welfare, etc). But as they are saving those souls floating around in heaven, I guess it is forgive.

Wake up parents. School is not free, and it isn't solely the responsibility of underpaid and undervalued teachers to educate you children. The buck doesn't stop there; it extends to when they are home. Quit sitting your children in front of the TV for hours of mindless shit. Take some time to read to them, create structure and SUPPORT education.

Robbing our children by reducing the amount of money we supply our education system will continue to deplete this country of informed and educated adult, something we are already sorely lacking.

How about we have a lottery, let those of us heathens who enjoy a scratch ticket or two help support education?

How about we quit allowing students to waste a period a day to leave school for religious reasons?

Why dump so much money into sports, what are they bringing to the table? I'd rather cut sports any day than art programs (yeah, that is the liberal side of me talking).

There is an answer here and I pray it doesn't become cutting what is already a very empty pocket.

Buttars Brother

I think Chris Buttars has a brother from a different mother.

Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) said Guam might capsize. He says he was speaking figuratively. I am not sure it matters. Take a moment before you ask a question and think, "how will this sound when it is replayed over and over and over".

Of course Buttars says stupid and hateful things. Johnson just said something stupid.