Every once in a while I like to throwback to my dating years and reminisce (vomit) about some of the adventures I went on. Again I am reminded that I really want to write a book about dating and the misadventures that one can find. I mean between me and the BFF there are just so many stories. But I digress.
There was one guy I dated who didn't fit into the normal category of scum I attracted. Don't worry, he still was a loser. I am getting to the point. While he may have been a loser he was also a late bloomer. I don't think he lost his virginity until his mid-twenties. Now, I am not bagging on that. In fact, if that is your motive, by all means, POWER TO YA! This is not the point. We had the conversation about virginity losses and such and I remember him saying this "You would never know I was a late bloomer, I watched a lot of porn". I was dumbfounded about this comment.
I took some time and tried to decipher what it was that he was actually saying. I think he was trying to advocate for porn as a learning tool. Sigh. Boys, please sit down and listen closely. Porn is not something to learn by. Ever. I know that you would love it if woman actually liked some of the porn standards. And please understand that I am not speaking for every woman. Just a small majority.
The idea that porn, which is fantasy, can teach you anything about the real world is sad. And this leads me to the real point. This is what is wrong with society. For some reason the idea of talking about sex has become so taboo. Take for instance the state that I live in. Utah. Not too long ago we were rated as the leader in porn love. People were in shock and awe. How could our state, with it's religious background and religious politics ever lead in such a filthy dirty poll?
Might have something to do with the fact that sex is looked at as something dirty. Boys can't ask their fathers about it, sure as hell can't ask their mothers. Can't ask their friends, cause then the friend might tell the bishop to try and save his friend. So the boy hides all of this desires and confusion and finally, when he is alone in the house, goes to the net and finds a wealth of "knowledge" on the subject.
Now we have a boy who has decided that what he sees in porn is the norm. Woman being objectified and demeaned.(I know this isn't always the case, but lets be honest it is for a huge percentage)He thinks women like to be hurt or called names. This becomes his idea of norm. And the cycle continues.
What is my point? That we need to move away from seeing sex as something that is bad and look at it as what it is. Natural. Don't let Jenna teach your children.
Disclaimer **this is in no way saying that porn is bad.
1 comment:
I would disagree that if you enjoyed a good amount of porn growing up that you in turn objectify women. I know I've observed more than my fair share of porn over the years and like to think that I haven't objectified women.
Also, I disagree that you can't learn from porn. You are right that it never is a direct translation in life. But that is like saying I should try to mimic Tiger Woods by watching him on TV.
You can learn variations of certain positions that could prove to be entertaining. But you are right; very little can be applied; but still has an application. Which is where I think BFF was coming from.
Long story short; it is how a kid is raised. If your parents didn't raise you to that objectifying women is bad, you're going to think it's okay; watching porn or not.
Just my two cents from a M.I.A. friend
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