SA

Hello. My Name is Lindsey, and I am a stupid girl. (This is where you all respond with "Hello Lindsey").

Sigh. How many times have I said "I hate stupid girls"? Probably at least a gazillion and a half. No, I am not taking the statement back. And I think I have always suggested that I have stupid girl moments. That doesn't change the fact that I hate stupid girls and hate even more, being a stupid girl.

I doubt many women see themselves for who they really are when they look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror, well sometimes I just don't even recognize who is looking back at me. Can I really be this girl? What happened to who I was in my youth. When I look in the mirror I see what I was robbed of, what I have lost out on. I see a woman who endured some of the most horrific experiences and pretends that she is okay.

So maybe I am making a step forward, because at least I recognize that I am pretending. I am not fully healed, maybe I never will be. Maybe I will set on the shelf with the other damanged goods. Is it possible that I can every feel whole again?

I think it is time for me to visit a doctor, again. I tried it a few times after everything happened, but came to the decision that I didn't need it, that self-healing was better for me. Obviously I am not self-healing, but rather I am ignoring. Tisk Tisk Lindsey, you know better.