What if's

For some reason today seemed to be the day of "what if's". Every where I turned someone was asking me a "what if". Well not every where I turn, but screw you, this is my blog and I will overexaggerate if I want.

What if your mom or dad read your blog?
-Well now wouldn't that be an interesting topic? First of all they would have to be savvy enough to understand blogging and find me. Second of all... well I guess it would make for interesting Sunday Dinner conversation. Honestly my parents love me, no matter what. Even if I am not the god-fearing-church-going girl they may wish I was. They don't care as long as I am happy and safe.

What if you never quit being friends with her?
-I am still friends with her, just not like we use to be. And I'm okay with that, all of the time. There were months where I worried and wondered, then I realized. "Hey, look at me, I'm doing great". And who gives a shit about the rest of it. Plus maybe I wouldn't have met the BFF, and that would be the real travesty.

What if you never met the BFF?
-I'd never know what I was missing, I'd still be in that hole. And thank god I do know what I'd be missing. Seriously. I can't even explain it. We just mesh, all the time. Even when he is an asshole and I am a bitch. Wait.. maybe that is why we mesh.

What if you never got married?
-Who knows? God what's with all the questions? Belive me, I'd take back getting married if I could. I'd take back the one fateful night where I made the decision to throw caution into the wind. I would take it all back and trade it for not having to live through what I did, I'd be insane not to (shut up peanut gallery). That all being said, I am a better person for it. I have learned and lived and loved and survived. The biggest part of that being I survived. I am a better person now. I am me, I wouldn't change that for the world.

What if you never met the BF?
-I'd probably still be settling and making mistakes. I wouldn't be able to appreciate how beautiful I am or how great I can be in a healthy wonderful relationship. I won't say I wouldn't be happy, because I would be, I just wouldn't be the happy I am now. I wouldn't be a lot of things, but I would still be me. He doesn't make me who I am, he doesn't complete who I am, he lets me be who I am which is why I love him. Compliment people, compliment not complete. If you can grasp that concept you will understand it all.

What if you didn't have brown eyes?
-I guess I'd have to find a new blog name now wouldn't I. Then I'd have a different titled blog that no one read.

Enough with the "what if's". I don't live my life for what could be. I live my life for what it is.